On Athens: 18:00 on Friday, 22 October 2010

Location Notes:

Greetings to all of my friends and other readers.  Here is a quick editor's note:  I usually put in the title where I am as I write this, but I am almost always at home these days when I find time to write.  Therefore, those of you who are observant may notice that I have changed the title to indicate the topic city of my blog entry.   My feeling is that this will be more convenient for my readers.  Furthermore, just for information, the date and time is consistent with when I started the entry not finished it.  OK, now that this little maintenance is performed ... please read on into today's entry.

This week, I spent time on an airplane flying between two of the most important cities of the ancient world; Athens and Cairo.  The flight is not long ... only about 1:40 between the two airports.  There is really not enough time to work on the flight but there is enough time to look out of the windows and ponder the nature of these two metropolises.  This entry will be about Athens only but I will endeavor  to write an entry this weekend on Cairo.  So, the reader should consider this "part one of a two part mini-series."

Acropolis of Athens

My recent flight from Athens to Cairo took off from Spata in the direction of Marcopoulo (I have always wondered about the etymology of this suburb ... is it named after the great traveller Marco Polo?) and within 90 seconds the flight was over the sea.  The day was beautiful and the light on my side of the aircraft was bright.  As I squinted against the sharp glare of reflecting sandstone islands and calm seas, I thought about the scenery rapidly passing beneath the speeding aircraft.  This was once the center of the intellectual world.  Yet, it is really only a dry, dusty, rocky region that has little to recommend it as the birthplace of democracy.  I am certain that the land is more habitable today compared to 2,300 years ago and life is easier, yet the area of Attica and the surrounding islands are nothing much upon which to look.  Perhaps, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".  

By the way, my father used to say, "beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone!"  

As the flight continued to climb, I began to develop a slightly different perspective.  At 36,000 feet it is easier to understand how Athens might have become a great city ... it is strategically located at the end of a long string of islands that are close enough together so that at least one island can be seen from the shores of another.  I considered what a sailor like Odysseus might have thought of such a place.  Odysseus travelled the region in a small trading ship that must have been very fragile compared to the power of a raging sea.  If Odysseus, however, could see islands close enough to quickly provide shelter against tempests, then he might have felt much more comfortable about plying his trade in the region.  The observant reader will remember that Odysseus was the king of Ithaca on the other side of mainland Greece, but Odysseus would certainly have been very familiar with the Cyclades -- the islands that lead up to Athens.  After all, traders don't generally stay at home; they travel to gain and exchange goods.

Cyclades from the Air - the islands are very close together

The clouds on the flight were also very instructive about the region.  At 36,000 feet we were just below a band of cirrus clouds that were thin and wispy.  The cirrus clouds produced various shades of purple and gray as they reflected the afternoon sun.  From the deck of Odysseus' boat the cirrus clouds would not have blocked much light but they would have foretold changes in the wind and perhaps in atmospheric pressure that would have been the precursor of more violent weather.  Close to the islands, however, there were small dark-gray bottomed cumulonimbus clouds that seemed to be generated by the small peaks of the rocky islands.  These violent looking puffy clouds were the type that produced thunderstorms over the plains of Kansas when I was young (and still do, of course).  I rather believe that these cumulonimbus clouds would have been a worry for Odysseus.  A small vessel with limited maneuverability made of fragile materials could be easily tossed around on dark and rough seas.  The ancient Greeks described this sea as "wine dark".  This always seemed strange to me because, from 36,000 feet, the Aegean Sea looks topaz blue with shades of gold and green.  From my high vantage in the aircraft, however, I could see that the water under the cumulonimbus clouds was indeed very dark and more purple than blue because of the reflection of the dark clouds above.  I believe that "wine dark" was probably more a description of respect and maybe concern than affection for the seas in this area.

As a pure aside, I noted that from my altitude, that the waters were indeed a dark shade of purple called Tyrian Purple.  Tyrian Purple holds a special history in the region.  The dye called Tyrian purple was harvested from a really smelly shellfish found only in Tyre which, for those of you who keep up with my blog, is very close to Beirut.  Tyrian Purple was once the most expensive dye in the world and was more expensive by weight than gold.  Tyrian Purple was originally reserved only for kings.  Any non-royal wearing the color would have been put to death as an impostor.  Much of the wealth of the ancient Phoenician trading port of Tyre came from the harvesting and processing of this dye.  During Roman Republican times, this purple was reserved for a small stripe on a Senator's toga.  Tyrian Purple was well known in the Bronze Age, so I like to think that Odysseus might have traded small quantities of this precious material on the various inhabited islands of the Cyclades as he dodged the squalls caused by island-effect storms.

I hope that the loyal reader has not thought by this point, "Shane has gone all barmy about the weather ... I think I'll skip the rest of this entry!"  There are reasons why I bring up these images.  First, I have a genuine interest in how such an unremarkable place as Athens could have blossomed virtually overnight into the center of philosophy, religion and democracy.  Second, and more importantly however, is the point about appearances.  Athens is ALL about appearances in many different ways.

I have written before about the quality of light in Athens.  The city is simply one of the brightest and harshest sunlit cities in the world.  The reader may think that a city like Dubai, Abu Dhabi or Bahrain would have a brighter sun than Athens.  The sun is hotter in the desert, but it is brighter in Athens.  The sun is brown-tinged in the desert but garishly white in Athens. The reason for the harshness of the light is as much man-made as supplied by nature.  Nature ensures that the sunlight bounces wildly off of the neighboring seas causing the skies to glow with vibrant light.  This light, however, is then reflected off the stark white marble from which Athens is constructed.  Camelot was reputed to be the "shining city" but the low sun in England means that Camelot would have paled beside Athens.  The buildings on the Acropolis were once brightly painted.  Now, however, they are stark in their well known white radiance.  The quality of the light, however, is only one way that appearances are important in Athens.

Demi Lovato would feel right at home in Athens

Everyone in Athens wears sunglasses.  This only seems prudent given the harshness of the light.  The really fashionable, however, wear their sunglasses at night!  This fashion is designed to provide anonymity while being an attention magnet. This is, at best, an affectation and at worst a hazard on the road (more about Athens roads later).  Athenians believe that they are the most fashionable people in the world.  In fact, Athenians believe that they invented fashion -- and just about everything else.  While we certainly have much to thank from Greek culture, I know that Ray-bans were an American invention for pilots and their roots don't go back quite as far as ancient Greece.  In Athens, appearances are important.  Athenians dress to impress unless they are students.  Students in Athens are anarchists and prefer "grunge" to Gucci (and "filth" really as they tend to smell).  Shocked international viewers watch recent scenes of violent protests in Athens and think, "Oh my Goodness, Athens has gone to Hell!"  In fact, Athens this time of year always exhibits this type of "Hell".  I have been visiting Athens for twenty years and there are always riots this time of year.  The riots are protests of the common people against oppression, the opportunity for democracy to be verbalized sharply by the electorate and, most importantly, a way for anarchist students to avoid mid-term tests.  If there is enough violence than classes will be cancelled and tests will be delayed.

I asked Greek friends of mine, "Where do all of the anarchists go when they are older? I only see young anarchists."  My friends reply, "Oh, we are still around, but now we are called 'conservatives'!"  When most Athenians are in secondary school and university, they enjoy a good protest and a little light looting during a riot can allow for extra pocket money to be earned.  Once they have a real job, families and property, however, no one wants to be an anarchist.  This does not mean that the protestors are not ardent.  In fact, they ardently believe in the causes upon which they protest ... at least at the time that they are protesting. Once they have money in their pockets, however, there are so many fashions to buy -- including sunglasses -- and a riot might soil a good Louis Vuitton bag.

"Dude, not cool ... My allowances are late!"

Appearances are important in Athens ... For example, during the Olympics, Athens was dressed up more than an Essex tart, but any examination under the skirt would show a nasty soiled pair of knickers!  On the surface, the Athens of today has good roads that still follow ancient pathways.  Driving is better than 20 years ago, but only on the main streets ... the backroads and alleyways are pothole riddled narrow passages that harken back to a time when donkeys were more prevalent than mopeds on the streets.  Parking is haphazard due to limited availability and the last vestiges of anarchy are prevalent in a traffic where stop lights are "for decoration".  When visiting a high-end restaurant, the patron should avoid the toilet since sewers and plumbing make the roads seem modern.  A patron using one of these facilities too long will return to the table smelling of Eau de Urine or, at best, Eau de Urinal Donut!

Athens - Dressed up like an Essex Tart

One of the big advances in Athens that was unveiled right before the Olympics in 2004 was the new subway.  Now, the subway stations are really cool because each has a little museum showing artefacts and even sites discovered during the excavations.  None the less, on almost every trip from the airport to downtown, a passenger must change trains at least once.  I guess this is designed to ensure that the stations are admired.  Train times are a bit "flexible" -- especially from the airport.  Furthermore, the trains are dirty and will only become dirtier with additional age.  The patina of grime is building and will probably hide the rust for a while.  In Athens, as long as the appearance is good then performance is secondary.

Olympic Airlines Flight Attendants - much like their city ...

The reader may have the impression that I dislike Athens ... In fact, I really love Athens.  For me, Athens is like an ageing Olympic Airlines flight attendant.  She may be a bit old and run down now, but at one time you know she was sexy!  My favourite spots in Athens are the ones that define Western culture.  The Acropolis is one of the most perfect sites in the world.  Despite the ravages of marble dissolving pollution from car exhaust, the Acropolis is one of my very favourite spots in the world.  The walk up the hill past the Greek and Roman era theatres toward the Propylaea (ancient fortified gateway of the Acropolis) is awe-inspiring.  Despite having visited the location more than fifty times, I still duly climb the slippery steps of the Rock of the Areopagus and view the sharp rocks below where capital punishment was exacted.  I imagine being pushed from the rock after being convicted of a capital crime and falling the fifty meters to an abrupt end against sharp granite spikes. After a few minutes pondering the place that defined Draconian Laws, I return down the polished worn ancient steps and proceed up to the Acropolis through the grand modern reconstruction of the Propylaea.  Most first time visitors are drawn to the Parthenon first.  I always visit the Parthenon, but I first pay homage to the Erechtheion.  This temple is much more important to me than the Parthenon and is my favourite spot on the entire hill.  I ponder the Caryatids knowing that they are modern replicas of the originals.  I think about the origins of the building -- it was originally the mythic palace of King Erechtheus -- even though it was built in its current form after the Persian sacking of Athens in 480 BCE. I walk around it slowly and wonder at the ancient piety that would spark such beauty and the skill of its creator Phidias.  I always pause under the entry portal to look up at the still present colours that show that the entire structure was originally painted in vibrant reds, yellows and blues.  I then look over the walls of the Acropolis to the north toward the Tower of the Winds, an ancient Roman clock and wind direction indicator incredibly designed by Andronicus of Macedonia in the first century BCE.

The Erechteion - My favorite spot on the Acropolis

The Parthenon is not an afterthought for me but the site is such a mess because of modern reconstruction and the press of tourists that I quickly survey the front entrance and then perform a quick circumnavigation to see the extent of reconstruction since my last visit.  I then generally leave the Acropolis and climb down the hill on the south side passing by way of the Stoa of Eumenes toward the Odeum of Pericles which is now a totally cool sculpture park showing some of the thousands of ancient artefacts unearthed at the site.  There never seem to be many visitors at this relatively new attraction and I love walking around the pathways and touching ancient history.

By the way, as much as I love the Acropolis, I am totally enthusiastic about its newest addition: the Acropolis Museum.  This is simply the most beautiful, most instructive and most astounding museum in the world.  In typical Greek fashion, the museum was finished in 2007 -- about four years after it was scheduled to be completed.  None the less, the wait was completely worth the result.  When the museum was being constructed, builders uncovered sixth century BCE ruins so they put glass floors over the top and incorporated the excavations into the museum.  Despite being a modern building, the Acropolis Museum shows almost perfect harmony with the complete Acropolis site.  I am even more excited about the permanent collection within the museum.

The new Acropolis Museum - Simply the best in the entire world

When the Persian King Xerxes sacked Athens and particularly the Acropolis in 480 BCE, he set it ablaze.  The fire burnt all flammable materials but left some of the structures and statues partially intact.  After the Athenians re-occupied the Acropolis following the defeat of Xerxes at the Battle of Salamis, the returning citizens promptly dug pits on the Acropolis and buried the charred remains following a religious ceremony of interment.  These remains constitute most of the contents of the Acropolis Museum.  My favourites are the Archaic sculptures with their stylistic forms.  The Egyptians must have influenced the Archaic period in Greece.

Of course, like all things Greek, there is a barely hidden objective behind the new Acropolis Museum: to convince the British to return the Elgin Marbles (the Phidias sculpted pediment sculptures from the Parthenon) from the British Museum.  No visitor to the new Acropolis Museum can remain non-judegmental about the return of these cultural treasures.  The visitors will either side with the Greeks -- which is the entire reason for the museum, or they will admire the British for rescuing the Elgin Marbles from almost certain ruin.  I support the Greeks in this ... it is time for the Elgin Marbles to return to their original home where they can be lovingly housed in this stunning museum.

I had originally intended to write about other Greek sites including my personal favourites of Delphi, Nafplion, Mycenae and Tiryns ... but they will have to wait for another day.  Suffice it to say that I have great affection for Athens even if I lament the fairly shallow way the Greeks put on appearances.  The renovation of Athens for the Olympics was the equivalent of putting lipstick on a pig ... it is still a pig underneath the affectation!

Where to Stay in Athens:

Many people like the Grand Bretagne hotel in Athens and it is a beautiful property.  It is in the usually brilliant location on Syntagma Square in downtown Athens, but that also happens to be where most of the demonstrations and riots occur.  While the Grand Bretagne is a great hotel, I highly recommend to bypass this hotel at this time of year.  Likely as not, guests at the Grand Bretagne will be locked in or out of their hotel with some regularity.  Rosa and I prefer the Athens Hilton.  It was renovated for the Olympics and the decor is light and airy even if it is fading just a bit since the 2004 games.  Guests who want to stay at the Athens Hilton should request an "Acropolis View" room.  The Athens Hilton is on a slight rise east of downtown and this means that Acropolis view rooms are at the same elevation as the Parthenon and the Erechtheion -- what a great view!  Believe it or not, the Sofitel at Athens Airport is also a really good hotel -- especially if excursions out of Athens are contemplated.

Athens Hilton - Request an Acropolis View room

Where to Eat in Athens:

There is a huge range of food in Athens -- as you would expect from any major metropolitan area.  For traditional food, I love the Plaka Cafe in, of course, the Plaka at Monostraki Square.  The kebabs taste better there than anywhere in the world but the tsatziki is full of garlic so the guest should avoid this if not dining with his/her spouse or partner. Milos Restaurant in the ground level of the Athens Hilton is a posh place for the freshest seafood in Athens.  The guest selects fresh fish from a counter stocked each day from the fishing boats at Piraeus (the port of Athens).  Milos also has a great wine list with the finest that Greece can supply.  Jimmy The Fish in Piraeus is just as expensive as Milos, but it is more relaxed and is right on the port.  The fried Calamari is my favourite from Jimmy.  Kiku is my favourite Japanese restaurant in Athens.  It is conveniently located in the hip Kolonaki area of Athens within easy walking distance of the Athens Hilton.  There are so many other great restaurants in Athens!

Plaka Kebab - Tastes great!

Where to Party in Athens:

The Plaka is where students and tourists hang out in central Athens.  There are street performers, live music and cheap beer.  So, if a casual inexpensive night is desired then the visitor should head to the Plaka.  More upscale nightlife can be found at the bars, cafes and nightspots of Kolonaki.  This used to be the high-end shopping area Athens and there are still plenty of fashion stores in the area.  The Plaka is for young anarchists ... but Kolonaki is for well-heeled 30-somethings.  Jackson's Hole is a usual hangout in Kolonaki.  For partying on the high-end, I recommend the Galaxy Bar on the top floor of the Athens Hilton. The soundtrack moves from chill-out in the early evening, to lounge at night to dance music in the early morning hours.  The place closes on weeknights at 04:00 and at sunrise on the weekends.  The cocktails are expensive, so I encourage visitors to buy a bottle or two of alcohol -- it works out much cheaper.

Galaxy Bar - Cool Chill-out Music

Where to Shop in Athens:

Fashion shopping is best in the areas surrounding Kolonaki or at Attika Department Store off Syntagma Square.  Cool fashions -- including current hot jeans favourites like Rocking Republic and Seven can be found in the Plaka right on Monostraki Square.  Souvenirs can also be purchased in the Plaka.  I find most shopping expensive in Athens, however.

Rocking Republic Jeans - Good enough for Posh, sold in the Plaka

Athens is a cool place for a visit.  Despite the hassles that I note above, I highly recommend a stop in Athens for everyone ... at least for the sake of appearances.

Travel Plans:

Saturday, 23 October 2010: Tseri, Cyprus

Sunday, 24 October 2010: Tseri, Cyprus -- I love being home for the weekend!

Monday, 25 October 2010: Larnaca - Bahrain - Kuala Lumpur.  I may write about Bahrain: where I met and married Rosa

Tuesday, 26 October 2010: Kuala Lumpur -- I'll definitely try to post my thoughts on this cool place!

Wednesday, 27 October 2010: Kuala Lumpur - Taipei

Thursday, 28 October 2010: Taipei

Friday, 29 October 2010: Taipei - Sydney

Saturday, 30 October 2010: Sydney

Sunday, 31 October 2010: Sydney - I'll try to post from here as well

Monday, 1 November 2010: Sydney - Abu Dhabi

Tuesday, 2 November 2010: Abu Dhabi - Rome

Wednesday, 3 November 2010: Rome

Thursday, 4 November 2010: Rome - Athens - Larnaca

Friday, 5 November 2010: back home in Tseri

Just a quick jaunt around the Far East followed by a meeting with the Pope (not really)!

Rant:

The riots in Athens are pretty normal, but what are the damn French protesting about?  Raising the retirement age from 60-years to 62-years? Oh my Goodness, aren't the French downtrodden by the "Man"?!  There are probably only three or four workers in France that aren't on some form of government assistance, but those three workers have enthusiastic representation.  The strikes in France are just a way to obtain a long weekend for workers that only put in about two days work a week at the best of times.

I always check the strike situation before I fly into or through Charles de Gaulle Airport ("CDG") in Paris.  Recently, however, I was flying from Tokyo to Rome and the best connection was over Paris.  I had my travel agent check the "strike situation" and she reported that there were "none scheduled".  So, I booked a relatively tight transit through the airport (arrive at 04:30 in Terminal E and depart at 07:30 in Terminal D).  This time would allow me to arrive at the airport, visit the First Class lounge for a shower and to have a suit pressed, then clear Schengen Immigration formalities at Terminal E followed by a short walk to Terminal D for departure.  Anywhere else in the world, three hours would have been fine for such an exercise, but I know CDG Airport and I expected the worst.

Strike at CDG Airport - Pretty normal, unfortunately

When I arrived at CDG there were no airside personnel to meet the aircraft.  So, we sat on the tarmac without disembarking the aircraft for nearly 30 minutes.  Then, there were no passenger service personnel meeting the flight.  So, I had to argue with the Immigration personnel at Terminal E to be allowed access to the premium lounge (the only one in the airport open at that time of the morning).  After a 15 minute debate, I gained admittance to Security where I waited for ten minutes while every part of my hand-carry baggage and person was searched.  Just as I was expecting a cavity search, I was allowed into the deadly quiet terminal.  The lounge proved to be open, but the shower rooms were filthy having skipped being cleaned for at least a week.  I finally used the handicap shower room since it was the cleanest.  

After a quick 15 minute shower, shave and sh*t, I was already at the 90 minute mark following landing. 

There was no one in the lounge to press my suit and shirt, so I used my own travel iron to quickly press my shirt and much travelled suit and straightened my tie to look presentable.  A quick look at my watch showed that two hours had passed since landing.  

I frantically gathered my various undergarments, dirty clothes and personal grooming items and shoved them into my carry-on baggage and promptly left the lounge.  When I arrived at Immigration to clear Schengen, the line had at least 5,000 slowly moving members ahead of me.  A very high percentage of the residents of the queue were citizens of Upper Volta or some such place where passports are hand-written and easier to forge than Monopoly money.  The queue moved slower than a glaciated river and I nervously watched the clock tick down to just 20 minutes prior to my flight.  After finally clearing Immigration, I ran to Terminal D and re-entered the security queue on that side.  Fifteen minutes in the Security queue  and I was counting down to just five minutes before departure.  I sprinted to the gate and, because it was high summer and about 50C (125F) in the glass-faced terminal, I was drenched with sweat making my recent shower completely redundant.

Handwritten Passport - Maybe from Upper Volta ...

Well, I guess the reader is wondering if I caught my flight?  In fact, when I finally arrived at the gate, the flight was not even boarding because Air Traffic Control at CDG was holding a "pre-strike meeting" ... This amounted to a mini-strike before the strike.  I was able to catch my flight nearly two hours later but I was late for the meeting in Rome and I vowed to skip transiting CDG whenever possible.  Of course, these days skipping CDG isn't that easy ... When Jesus returns, he'll have to change planes in CDG!

So, I have no sympathy at all for the strikers in France who want to retain their God-given rights to retire so that the government can support them for a minimum of 20 years.  My Dad always used to say, "Retirement is wasted on the elderly.  Students should be 'retired' after University for ten years while they are young enough to enjoy the freedom of retirement.  Then, after ten years of retirement the young workers should begin their working lives and work until they die ..."  This sounds imminently more practical than the current hassle of protests and strikes.

I believe that the French government should feed all of strikers as much foie gras as they can eat and then the strikers will have heart attacks and will not reach even 55 years of age let alone 60 years of age.  This seems like a smarter way to limit the costs of state pensions in France.

Potential Answer to French Pension Cutbacks

Humour Section:

I offer two jokes today ... 

In honor of my Location Notes subject matter, I provide the following joke that, in fact, my mother told me several years ago (settings have been changed a little):

The boss called in his lead salesman and told him, "I've decided to add Greece to your territory.  Please start covering that country from the first of next month."  The salesman complained to his boss, "Greece?!  Greece?!  The only two kinds of people in Greece are football players and prostitutes!"  The boss turned angry instantly and yelled, "Hey!  Watch that; my mother is from Greece!"  The quick-thinking salesman sobered quickly and replied, "Really?  What team does she play for?"

I wonder what team they play for?

OK, that one may be a groaner.  

I read yesterday about the tragic death of a man in Germany who had earned his driver's license despite having two artificial arms -- one being bionic.  While this is a tragic death, I chuckled a bit remembering the following joke of my father:

A blind man with a seeing eye dog was approaching a busy intersection when the crossing light indicated that he could cross safely.  As the dog approached the crosswalk he sat and the man patiently waited for the light to change.  When the light changed indicating that it was no longer safe to cross, the guide dog promptly stood up and began to lead his ward across the now bustling intersection.  Cars swerved to miss the blind man and his dog, they crashed into each other, horns blared and general chaos ensued.  Miraculously, the dog was able to successfully guide the blind man through all of the traffic to the other side.  Once he reached the other side of the street, the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a dog treat and commenced to reward his guide dog.  A bystander who had watched the entire incident exclaimed, "My Goodness man!  You are not going to reward that dog for almost killing you, are you?!"  The blind man turned toward the speaker and replied, "I'm not rewarding him ... I'm finding out where his mouth is so I can kick him in the ass!"

My readers can decide who is funnier: my mother or my father...

Last Blast:

One of the quaintest practices of ancient Athens democracy was the process of "Ostracism".  In ancient Athens as with the modern Americans, a demagogue can easily rouse the population to agitation by using the time-honored practices of "rabble-rousing".  In order to limit the ability of a demagogue to become a tyrant or dictator, the Athenians had a process known as "Ostracism".  Each year on a selected day, the voting citizens of Athens would attend a meeting on the Acropolis where they would listen to speeches.  Then, each would pick up a broken piece of pottery (in ancient Greek, an "ostraci") and would write the name or symbol of the person they wanted removed from the Polis (the city-state).  If any citizen received a minimum of five thousand votes then he was "ostracised" by being exiled for ten years.

Ostracon With the Name of Cimon

If the ostracised individual left promptly after turning over his property rights to a trusted friend or relative then he could return at the end of the exile and re-enter the life of the Polis with full citizenship.  If, however, the ostracised individual rebelled against the verdict of the citizens and refused to depart Athens or tried to return before his time, then the ostracised fugitive could be killed on site and his property could be seized by his killer.  The fear of ostracism must have worked as a tool in order to limit the practices of a demagogue and this certainly gave citizens the right to remove a tyrant or trouble-maker from the government of the day.

Of course, this power was occasionally mis-used.  During a period of partisan politics in Athens (which means pretty much all of the time), a demagogue could convince his followers to ostracise a third-party.  This is how Cleisthenes , a law-giver of ancient Athens, was ostracised.  Cleisthenes was a quiet conservative Athenian who was thought to be very wise.  He was opposed by the demagogue Pisistratus.  The demagogue was able to condemn Cleisthenes to exile by simply convincing his followers to ostracise the older statesman.  As Cleisthenes approached the Acropolis on the day of the vote, an illiterate farmer approached him without knowing his identity.  The farmer asked the stranger, "Would you write the name of 'Cleisthenes' on this ostraci for me, friend?"  That startled Cleisthenes replied, "Of course, I will, but why do you want to ostracise this man, citizen?"  The farmer replied, "I'm sick and tired of hearing him described as 'wise'!"  Cleisthenes reportedly duly wrote his own name on the ostraci and returned it to the farmer.

I wish we still had the ability to ostracise someone that we want to remove.  I would ostracise quite a few people if I had the ability.  I would have ostracised Dick Cheney and George Bush together.  Lindsay Lohan should be ostracised until she grows up and takes responsibility and the same can be said for Paris Hilton.  I would ostracise Mel Gibson for being a bigot and a bully and pretty much every televangelist in Texas because they are hypocrites.  I wonder if we could ostracise the entire tea-party movement?

England would not escape from my ostracisms.  I would ostracise Wayne Rooney for being too proud of himself despite the fact that he doesn't appear to be able to read.  While I'm at it, I would probably ostracise the entire England football team that played in the World Cup this year (of course the team did a pretty good job of ostracising themselves). David Cameron would have to go along with his Deputy-Prime Minister Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband as well -- I say let the Queen run her own damn country!  Of course, the Prince Philip, Prince Charles and horse-faced Camilla would be high on my ostracism list.

I challenge the reader to figure out who he/she would ostracise if given the chance.  Let me know via email ...

Until we meet again, I hope you all smile and relax a little ...